It's Homecoming time.. please.. come home.

Our lakeside neighbor, the dear grandmother to Taylyr Cochran, lost her grandson to death due to decisions he and others made one night last winter, in January, 2011, near Lansing, Michigan.

The 3 back seat passengers of a speeding car died.
The 17 year old driver was legally drunk, and has been sentenced to jail time.
This could have been avoided.
There were opportunities for the passengers to change the course of events that night.

They had stopped for gas, one of the passengers asked to drive, she was refused the keys. She should have walked away.
Why didn't she walk away?

All five people got back in the car.
They got back into the car with a drunk driver.
Don't do that!
Don't.. please don't ever do that.
Don't.

And I can say that to you knowing you might not listen.
Taylyr was told the same thing...
on the afternoon before he died.

She warned him, his mother that is.
And he promised his mother he wouldn't do anything stupid.

The following are two of his mom's Facebook posts from this summer, on the 6 month anniversary of her son's death;



3:11am

Six months ago today

by Joye Cochran on Friday, July 29, 2011 at 5:02pm

Six months ago today, just a few hours ago to be exact we sat in your car. I had cornered you by riding with you and sending your lil sister with your dad. I was concerned about you and wanted to explain to you why I was mad. You had been doing poorly in school your first semester and had been going to more parties than I thought was good. At first you gave me the "Mom, I just want to be a college kid" response. When I stopped you and said. "T, I don't think you are taking this as seriously as you should" you stopped and REALLY talked to me. We talked about how important you were to me, how partying wasn't going to get you where you wanted to go. How important you were to me, how I couldn't imagine living life without you, that I loved you more than you can imagine. We talked about the "rules" that if you go to a party and you get in a situation where you have drank that you were not to drive or if the people you were with could drive to call me, dad or Lex. Anyone, just don't get in the car. You said "Mom, I won't do anything stupid"- Ha those words. Why you did get in that car, I'll never know. What I do know is that three things are still true today. You still are extremely important to me, I hate now imagining my life without you, I DO love you more than you can imagine (well maybe now you can :-) ) 6 months ago we ate dinner for the last time (thanks to Buddies) I gave you a kiss and you told me you loved me and I told you I loved you. I told you to be safe and that I'd see you later. I just didn't know that the very next time I would be looking at you in a coffin and that the next time I would see you would be after I too cross over. I love you Taylyr Scott Cochran and will miss you every single day of my life.

by Joye Cochran on Saturday, July 30, 2011 at 12:38am

6 months ago @ 3:11am I received a call that changed my life. "Joye, the boys have been in an accident and they say it isn't good. They are taking them to Sparrow Hospital"... I say "OK, drive carefully I'll see you there".   Never in my wildest dreams/nightmares would I have anticipate the next call I received. It was my daughter making the worst call I am sure she will ever make in her life. "Mom, the police are here, they say Tay's dead"..... I scream and scream and scream. Time stood still, a piece of me was gone never to be replaced. Chaos replaced our relatively normal existence and yet out of the pain, sadness and insanity I realize I am blessed. While my son no longer is with me and not one person can EVER even IMAGINE that pain unless you've been there. I have an incredible family, a network of friends I never really knew existed to the extent it does and a community that has blown my mind. I have gained new family members and clearly have seen/felt/lived the grace of God. So today I will mourn my son with pain, sadness and gratitude. I love you Taylyr Scott Cochran

Taylyr Scott Cochran

Taylyr Scott Cochran, Holt, Age 18, died as the result of an automobile accident on January 30, 2011. He was born in Lansing on February 7, 1992, the son of Scott and Joye (Pierson) Cochran. He was a 2010 graduate of Holt High School,

Published in Lansing State Journal on February 1, 2011

Joye Cochran never expected to have to testify at a trial for a teenager. Or speak at his sentencing. She didn't expect to be interviewed by the media, or deal with hurtful negative comments on Facebook.

She delivered this speech to the high school assembly just before prom last year.
*Because blog posts are generally kept short I was going to just pull some excerpts from her talk, but decided to print the entire speech.

Hi, for those of you I don’t know, my name is Joye Cochran.    Taylyr Cochran is my son.  Earlier this year Taylyr was involved in a fatal car accident that took his and two other’s lives as well as changed many other people’s lives for eternity. 

I am going to ask you guys to help me out for just a second, so please just play along.

I would like anyone that knew Taylyr to raise your hand and keep it up for just a second if you don’t mind.

Anthony… Holly

How many if you didn’t know them personally were impacted or touched by the accident that happened this year?

OK, you can put your hands down

So why did I just have you do that?  I wanted you to see how one life can impact many people.  I am certain that Taylyr had NO idea that he had such an impact on so many people, but through this tragedy, I have been able to see first hand the impact he made. 

You may be asking what does this have to do with SAAD or even with me?  Here it is.  On Jan 30^th a series of decisions changed our lives forever.

Taylyr decided to go to a party with some of his friends, Taylyr decided to drink even though he wasn’t old enough to do so, Taylyr decided to ride home in a car with a group of friends.  Sound familiar?  Probably not too different than what some of you do on some weekends. 

Taylyr was taking risks without thinking of the consequences.  Even though I told him I loved him more than anything on this earth and that I couldn’t imagine life without him he still took those risks.  Even though we talked about and he knew the dangers of drinking and driving, he still chose to get in a car with someone who had been drinking. He didn’t think anything would happen to him, he’s young, he’s having fun, he just wanted to be a “college kid”.  But here’s the deal.  He was gambling with something SO precious, SO valuable, SO fragile and he had no idea.  He was gambling with his life.

You are your most prized possession

I would pay 1000x more than any amount of money you can think of to have my son back, but I can’t. Why am I telling you that?  Because you are that important.  Look around you.  Most likely you are sitting near your friends, a favorite teacher, someone.  Someone you care about and who cares about you.  What would happen if tomorrow you could no longer sit next to that person or share your hopes, dreams and sorrow with them.  Would it hurt?  I can tell you it does.  Many of you here know how that feels first hand.   I want to talk to you about you taking a look at yourself in the mirror and asking yourself to respect yourself enough, your family and your friends to make wise decisions.  I’m not saying “Don’t have fun”. I asking you to take a moment and ensure you can calculate the risk of that fun as you are deciding to take part in.  Even those decisions you make in a split second. Are you about to or are you engaging in an activity that can potential hurt you physically or mentally?  Can it hurt someone you are with.  I am certain that IF Taylyr, Holly, Anthony, Brett, Kenzie and Justin knew what was going to happen on Jan. 30^th they would have made different decisions. None of them expected that the decisions that they were making would have such a profound impact on their lives that night, but they did.  None of them will EVER be the same again.

  It would have taken one small different decision to change the course of the events that night.  Had Brett (the driver) not drank.  Had he given up his keys, had any one or all of them decided to ride with Justin I would most likely not be here speaking to you.  What I am asking you to do, is to remember what happened, take the second more to think before you act.  What happened to Taylyr, Anthony, Holly, Brett, Kenzie and Justin is PROOF that what you hear about drinking and driving is real.  They are proof that split second decisions can change your life FOREVER.  If you can’t think about yourself and minimize your risks just for you, think about those that love you. Nothing can replace you  Don’t put others at risk. Remember that you and the people you are with are precious cargo.  Be the one to stand up if you are in a situation that you aren’t comfortable with, even if you feel like your friends will look at you strange.  Respect yourself enough to protect yourself.  Bad things can happen to good people.  Respect others enough to not put them into bad situations.  If you are in a bad situation, commit to changing the decision that put you there, even if that means changing your decision mid-stream.  There is never a bad time to make good decisions for yourself even if you have made bad decisions over and over. Today is a new day. Believe in yourself enough to know you can do it, you never know, you may save your or someone else’s life.  Please be safe and have fun.